A Few Hot Takes on Pregnancy, Birth, Postpartum, and Motherhood

Welcome to the Motherhood Marathon

Motherhood is a wild, wonderful, and deeply personal journey. But if we are being honest, it can also feel like a pressure cooker. Between the endless advice, the social media highlight reels, and our own expectations, navigating pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and motherhood can leave you dizzy.

I have learned a lot over the years, and I have gathered a few hot takes along the way. Some of these might ruffle a few feathers, but I believe in speaking the truth with love. Remember, practice makes progress. Let's dive into a few of my strongest beliefs about bringing babies into the world.

Nuance Over Nonsense

First and foremost, the lack of nuance in how we talk about motherhood is exhausting. The constant comparison and the tendency to put other women down simply makes motherhood more difficult. We are all doing our best. We need to replace judgment with genuine support and ditch the mom guilt for good.

The First Year and The Working Mother

I firmly believe a mother and infant should not be separated during the first year of the baby's life. That bond is biological, beautiful, and fundamentally important.

At the exact same time, I believe a woman should be able to keep her job or career path. Having a child should not be mutually exclusive from the ability to earn necessary income or do work a woman feels called to do. Wanting to work and needing to work are both entirely valid. We need a society that actually supports both of these truths without forcing women to choose.

Trusting Your Intuition in Pregnancy and Birth

You are the expert on you. I believe a woman is fully capable of making good decisions for herself, her pregnancy, her birth, and her child.

However, fear of the unknown—which often includes a lack of understanding of how the body actually works in pregnancy, birth, and postpartum—frequently causes a woman to outsource her power. When we distrust our intuition, it often leads to non-evidence-based care and, sadly, birth trauma. Women deserve to understand exactly what is evidence-based and what is not.

The Breastfeeding and Formula Paradox

Let's talk about feeding babies. I believe breastfeeding is the biological norm. I also believe our society is completely ill-equipped to support a woman's breastfeeding goals.

While most women (but definitely not all) are physically capable of breastfeeding, physical capability is not the same as emotional capability. It doesn't mean you are financially resourced or adequately supported to do so.

Because of this, access to safe formula and donor milk is absolutely essential. And here is a real hot take: I believe the formula lobby is one of the biggest reasons federally supported paid maternal leave doesn't happen in our country. We are missing the mark at a national level, and moms are paying the price.

Reclaiming the Birth Space

Whether you are planning a natural birth at home or scheduling a hospital delivery, birth is meant to be a moment of intense vulnerability and profound power.

In many cases, modern medicine has made birth physically safer for moms and infants. But along the way, we have emotionally robbed women of their power by expecting them to be quiet, compliant, and "good patients" in the birth space. I am glad to see this shifting, but we still have a very long way to go to truly honor mothers.

Addressing the Unacceptable

We cannot talk about maternal health without addressing the glaring, painful disparities. I believe systemic and internalized racism are actively harming, traumatizing, and killing mothers and babies. This is unacceptable. Real, systemic change is necessary, and it is long overdue.

Ditch the Gadgets, Build the Village

The baby product industry profits heavily from the promise of better sleep and mental health. But often, these fancy products actually undermine the biological norms for infant development and lactation.

Instead of buying expensive gadgets that create barriers to parental intuition and eventually end up in a landfill, we would be so much better off investing our resources elsewhere. Every little bit helps when we invest in actual care. Let's spend our time and money on:

• Community support and meal trains
• Experienced lactation consultants
• Postpartum doulas
• Chiropractic care
• Pelvic floor physical therapy
• Massage and mental health therapy

Motherhood is a Gift

At the end of the day, I believe motherhood is a magnificent gift, honor, and privilege. But that does not mean it is easy. It doesn't mean every single moment is a magical rush of oxytocin. It is hard work, and it is holy work.

If you are navigating this season and feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath. You are doing a great job. Remember, it's not all or nothing. Trust yourself, lean on your village, and know that you are exactly the mother your baby needs.

You're probably so excited about welcoming your baby into your home, if you're like most moms you're probably flipping through a few books, you've download some apps, and listening to your friend's and family's experience.  You're probably doing your part to be a star patient for your doctor or midwife.

I totally get that, and this is actually a problem because you're going to get you varied, sometimes conflicting advice that might not even work for your circumstance, and here is the kicker: lots of time's it not evidence-based guidance. 

Instead of that, I want to offer you that working with a doula from your first trimester through your postpartum time is actually going to give you what you really need: cohesive information, expert guidance and the emotional support that every new mom deserves.  It's like having an a doula in your pocket (or purse if that's where you keep your phone)

Hiring a Digital Doula is the best way to have a positive experience during your pregnancy, birth and postpartum.  I would love to be your digital doula.