Confident Mom-to-Be

I began my mothering journey with a ton of confidence.  I trusted my instinct, I had strong ideals of how I would parent.  I would birth at home without medication, I would find a way to help my baby sleep, I would nurse on cue, introduce veggies before grains, avoid sugar, use anatomical terms for genetalia, answer reproductive questions with openness and honesty.  I understood the gravity of my new role and trusted my ability to rise to the challenge.  


I did not  know was that I’d have trouble breastfeeding. I had no idea that the physical inability for my body to meet my baby’s nutritional needs would trigger a long battle with anxiety.  In fact, it wasn’t until four years later, when my third child was born, that I even knew I had anxiety.


Pregnancy Announcement Picture


Anxiety Stripped My Confidence


I didn’t know that the anxiety would railroad me into “survival mode.”  I never realized I’d choose isolation over the challenges of being a working mother and having community.  I also didn’t know that a three-year old’s big feelings, tiny body and need of independence would unravel my discipline ideals. I’d never had any instance of “terrible rows” and had never heard the term “threenager”


I quickly learned that my response to my upset children was about me, not them.  The rage that filled me when my instructions or requests were met with defiance was MY issue, not theirs.


Powerless and Lacking Tools

Yet, I had ideals I was breaking.  When I didn’t know how to make my child comply, or respond in a way that was calm, I didn’t have tools to help me do that.  I knew not to hit, but I didn’t know not to speak with sarcasm.  I knew not to set my kid up for frustration, but I didn’t realize all the little ways I was doing this.


“Spare the rod, spoil the child” rang through my ears from years of hearing it in the church.  I felt the very real pressure of fellow Christians to make my child do the right thing. I felt the pressure of my own ideals and yet I had no idea how to handle a public meltdown, because I too was melting down.


What does anxiety have to do with Montessori?

It is very common  to think of Montessori in images of toddlers pouring water, wooden toys and beautiful spaces. It is so much more than materials.  As I have aligned myself with Montessori mentors via blogs, podcasts and books I have found a way to spiritually prepare myself as a mother.


She must acquire a moral alertness which has not hitherto been demanded by any other system, and this is revealed in her tranquility, patience, charity, and humility. Not words, but virtues, are her main qualifications.”

Maria Montessori, The Discovery of the Child 


I maintain the importance of ideals.  However, I no longer hold the expectation of perfection. I have a language for my human errors, without excusing them.  I have the supernatural ability to rise above and tools to make that easier.


 That is FREEDOM.  


This is why I needed Montessori. Not because I want pretty spaces, though a prepared environment reduces daily struggle.


Not just because this century old educational approach is constantly affirmed by research, though that is great.


Not because it helps me explain math or grammar, though I love the logic of the methods and materials.


Dr. Montessori provides me not only with a good understanding of child development, but also with the awareness that working on myself is the most powerful tool in my parenting.

Stefanie Melo, Holistic Life and Faith Coach
I’m Stefanie and I am here for you, mama. 

I had expectations of feeling purpose and fulfillment in motherhood. Instead, I experienced trauma, anxiety, depression, isolation and a crisis of faith. 
Feeling like I couldn't be the mom I wanted to be to my five children, I began a journey of deconstructing and challenging everything I thought I believed. It was scary and messy. It felt like heresy! It also led to a deeper faith in Jesus, more peace, and a wholeness I didn't know was possible. 

Today, I am based in Arizona where I Montessori homeschool my 5 children ages 2-10 with my husband, Hernando. I am alligned with my calling as a feminist Jesus lover and a holistic coach to help mamas who are at any point in their evolving journey of faith to reclaim a little more sparkle! 
I coach women to understand and integrate their beliefs, thoughts, and emotions to create a life that offers more clarity, more peace, more joy — a life that is simply better.
 
I offer a unique approach to life coaching, bringing a wealth of professional expertise including: productivity, planning, massage therapy, infant bonding, fertility enhancement, birth work, postpartum support, breastfeeding support, youth and children’s ministry and Montessori education training.
 
If you are looking for support that acknowledges your mind, body, spirit and human need for community, I am the coach for you!

Looking for resources for Montessori  Homeschooling, Fertility, Birth Preparation, Breastfeeding and Holistic Wellness?  Join my wellness community and get free access to all of that including group coaching calls. Learn how by messaging me 

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